| Foiled again |
[Aug. 18th, 2008|08:12 pm] |
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Yeah, I had a good day. |
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| Nuzzled |
[Aug. 18th, 2008|01:55 pm] |
So My moon, My Man is going back up state tomorrow for school and I've been left with an oh so bitter taste in my mouth. He's sent me so many mixed signals its unholy. All is fine and dandy when the clothes are off, but god forbid we sit next to each other at the movie theater. That's would just be...mean, he would say.
I know I know you all are thinking "why are you wasting your time with that guy? Move on, he's after your body not your heart and the second he gets back to State with all the ungrad ass he'lls top calling."
True.
But let's think for a moment about how shitty the past years have been and how I've been (for lack of better words) aching for some compassion. Even if it is a damn lie. Give me these few hours of just pretend happiness so i can mope later like I always do.
They're outside smoking now and I can't go out because it makes my eyes water and my hair REEEEEK. So i'll sit in here and just beam because he'd just nuzzled my neck and kissed my ear before stepping out the door. |
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| Well... |
[Jul. 4th, 2008|08:05 pm] |
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Worthless. Just worthless. |
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| Get on my level |
[May. 28th, 2008|08:44 pm] |
Holy hell!
Everything happens for a reason right? Okay well I was all piss-ant because I had to drive my friend all the way to Montgomery for a class. (GAS SUCKS), but i've realized that I came here for a reason.
I passed on old crush, an old flame if you will. And dudes, he's a hot mess. He looks like he's been living out of a truck for 3 years.
Let me go back and expose you to the horror that was Jacob Busk. He was adorable and too young for me. We met at a summer camp and I guess trees, dirt and lack of parental controls makes preteenies very touchie feelie. Well the fucker dropped me the second we got off of the bus. I was devastated! It hurt for a while but I got over it once the little shit moved to Nevada. Or so they said.
Well I just passed him on the campus walk five years later and bloody hail! Glad I dodged that bullet! |
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| GEt down, boogie oogie oogie |
[May. 19th, 2008|08:55 am] |
We're going to the gay bah the gay bah the gay bah!
Okay we went. Emily invited me to go with her people and I dragged BJ along. It was a blast. I should be going back again one day. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 19th, 2008|08:47 am] |
Alright so, it's been two or maybe three weeks. I can't believe that this all sparked from one little night out of town. It makes me wonder if I had gone earlier, all those other times I was invited, would it be any different? I am left to assume that maybe everything happens for a reason and this my final test. I mean come on, is he really good for me?
Yes. He is very good for me. He's no nonsense, muy intellegente, and my good, his eyes. My only doubt is that his description of me is far less appealing. All guys make me doubt myself. Yeah you can say I'm pretty or 'hot' for my type of chick but what does that do for me? If you can't hold me or look at me with true emotion then I want nothing of it.
He's very light with the ladies and he doesn't even know it. But I think we're exactly alike in that sense. I mean think about it? All my guy friends are my better friends and 90% of them I have fooled around with or had some attraction to in some way. Even the ones I just met. Well just switch the me with he and the guys with gals. My question is does he mind work the same way mine does? Does he think about the second door although his eyes are fixated on one?
They girls he knows are gorgeous. They're fun, their just all out amazing. Can I compete with that? I confidently tell myself yes, but my body won't let me move.
In less than a week he'll be gone and I won't se him again for a month and then after that, not at all. I'll miss him, I miss him now. More so because I know that he's openly with that other girl. And it sucks because I said that that was what I wanted. i couldn't hold onto him knowing how he felt about her.
We'll see how this week goes and what gts said. What was done in darkness shall come to the light right? |
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| Fuck the high horse |
[Apr. 14th, 2008|11:26 pm] |
In the time between me logging off and washing my hair, I got this message saying how he's going on a date with the OTHER girl. The one I warned him about. The one I seemed to be the replacement for.
Everytime I start feeling good and considering some sort of change, I get pushed right off the cloud.
I knew it wouldn't last long. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 2nd, 2007|07:10 pm] |
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I get it now, ha ha ha Tears for Fears you bastards |
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| Interesting |
[Apr. 15th, 2007|03:11 pm] |
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Dax Shepard is the man. |
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| Bitch stole my Sharpie |
[Jul. 24th, 2006|06:31 pm] |
All of my celebrity crushes are married now hotdammit. And I can't look at the Harry Potter boys anymore or else I'll get arrested in 48 states.
Getting older blows. |
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| I may be a virgin, but i can still fuck you up! |
[Jun. 11th, 2006|11:44 pm] |
Life is funny.
I've graduated high school literally years ago and I officially hate my yearbooks. It wasn't me and I WAS awkward. Phyllip told me that it just seemed like I didn't want to be there and so i didn't try to fit in. But that sort of personality made me interesting. Others say I seemed like a cool person, but they were afraid to talk to me, as if I were some huge bitch or something.
And I am still so, so shocked when people I graduated with stop me to carry on a conversation and actually treat like a human being when all those years I was just 'there'. And great ghost, the joy of even being recognized at all.
At least they say that I look better and I looked just fine then too. (God, to hear that I was a quote unquote hottie is just mind boggling). Even the guy I guy I gad a crush on confessed via myspace to liking me, but feared the age thing. Whoa. I mean whoa.
So those are my thoughts right now.
And I think I want to move to England. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 4th, 2006|07:29 pm] |
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I keep getting online to check something, but I forget EVERYTHING I get on this thing. Damn what the hell... |
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| I wanna do THAT! |
[Jan. 3rd, 2006|07:42 pm] |
I want to get pierced to BAD! Dammit this girl in FYE was looking so cool with her ear and tongue and lip...stupid sensitive skin.
I met Colin at the mall today and had the honor of being able to pick out my own belated Christmas gift. I decided that nothing was 'worth' buying, so I'm letting him buy me Hustle and Flow on DVD when it comes out. I'll enjoy that much more than that 'Purge' CD.
I had thee weirdest dream last night. I was on the Real World/Inferno/Gauntlet and was 'lucky' enough to be dating Derrick, the short little firecracker. Odd...
This doesn't sound like a 19 year old's post, but oh well. I have nothing else to grip about at the moment. |
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| Happy Nude Years! |
[Jan. 1st, 2006|08:25 pm] |
New Years Eve rocked it. They blew stuff up and I actually drank. hur-ray.
Details? Okay! I woke up and wasted my morning before I had to go to work at 2:30. Colin came by (surprise) and sort of picked me up once we closed at 6. Next it was of to Millbrook to party hardy with Jason, Colin, Daniel, Justin and Katrina. Alright maybe not party hardy, but it was good college humor fun. As soon as i got there Justin (as always) pissed me off, but I didn't let it get to me like it usually does. Jason had me rolling laughing and David popped in and out. Katrina and I enjoyed digital tv radio stations and killed the celery.
I drank a little. little, not even enough to call it drinking. I had some champagne punch stuff and a sip of smirnoff. Nothing big at all. I will say that I was proud of myself for even doing that because I'm so obsessive compulsive about NOT drinking. Like pukey OCD. It's a long story, but i'm taking my baby steps to get out of it.
After the ball drop the guys blew some more stuff up and then we watched some Aqua Teen Force before passing out (or at least I did). We didn't get up until 2 and got all upset when it got dark too quick. We went to Applebee's and then messed up my order to I got the food for free. I just had to pay for my drink. That's cool. I just was sure to check my plate for spit wads.
I saw the coolest book at Bookland that was simply behind the scene of Sin City. It was interesting, but i don't think I'll buy it. Skim and read in store...but not buy.
(x-posted) |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 26th, 2005|08:17 pm] |
I'm so addicted to the family fued game at uproar.com.
So very addicted and it's a 10 minute game! I've been at this computer since 6 |
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| You'r a bad banana with a greasy black peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel |
[Dec. 25th, 2005|12:38 pm] |
This Christmas playlist...same as last year but a few new ones. Of courese I have the old school classics by artist i don't know. "Do do, I do do dreaming do de do of a white do do Christmas...", some Bing and Brenda...all the old ones you hear in movies. But of cousre everyone likes novelty so I added some new ones.
The Chimpmunks - Christmas Don't Be Late (give him the damn hula hoop!)
Whirling Deverish - You're a Mean One Mister Grinch
Flaming Lips - Christmas at the Zoo (coolest drum beat ever)
The Smashing Pumpkins - Christmastime (by far the creepiest XMas song ever made)
John Lennon - So This Christmas
Smash Mouth - Better Do it Right
TLC - Sleigh Ride
Run DMC - Christmas in Hollis
Bruce Springsteen - Merry Christmas Baby
Jessica Simpson::shudders:: - 'Let it Snow' and 'Little drummer boy'
Adam Sandler - Hannakah Song
Nsync - Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays
Plus 1 - This is Christmas |
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| Bring on the New Year bitches |
[Dec. 21st, 2005|05:09 pm] |
So my dad is gone now. He's off to Detroit thinking his brother is bringing him in with open arms, but instead, he's going to get him some needed help. Good.
My mom has warned me that we might not being staying in this house very much longer. Fine by me. I hated it out here. It was close to campus, but it was so far from my friends and I hated it. But really, we just can't afford it and all of the bills with just her and my income. Since my brother is out of commission for a few weeks we've cut a good 400$ of our potential income for the next coming months. My little Claire's check won't due. And what's the point in working just to use it ALL for bills? It's too depressing and ritaulistic. So boring.
I suggested that mom just sell the house and find a nice lil apartment or trailer to stay in until we get a new governor. Maybe then she'll get a raise after a 4 year hold on state employees. (yeah, it's sad). It might be better to try to save money or whatever. I know for sure I will HAVE to find a new job. 6 month evaluation or not.
At least I have Veronica Mars tonight. YAY! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 17th, 2005|05:00 pm] |
I am in love with the Atlanta(ic) Bread Company. I had to stop by there after work because I had a sick, sad craving.
Last night was cool. Colin, Daniel, Brandon and I went to see 'The Chronicles of Narnia'. It was interesting. I wanted to punch those kids the entire time. THE ENTIRE TIME. Yet, it was still a good movie.
I managed to fall into a state of 'duh' when we all did the whole, 'do, who would have imagined that I'd be a preacher and you'd be an artist and you'd (me) be...here.' I have nothing. No drive, no goal no anything and everyone knows it. How boring is that?
Work was okay, it was short so I can't complain. Alright, I'm off for more Nip/Tuck. |
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| Two hours |
[Dec. 16th, 2005|12:52 pm] |
So far I've made all 'A's in my classes this semester. That is rockin', but I have no idea how that happened. One class I only made B's on the test and A's on the speeches. I doubt I made a 97 on a 100 question final. i can't imagine that, not for that class. But I'm not complaining. Thank you sir.
I'm in this little fight online with some 13 year old spaz in a Top Model community. I've found that the people you argue with are usually NOT the ones you started with. I've said 'it's over, get over it' twice now and this little biznotch won't shut up. I've decided to just let them have the last word and look tarded to save myself the energy. How this little bitch keeps an arguement going with 'ha, i thought you said it was over? and don't call me dude" is just someone crying out for attention and wanting to look cool. It's not working dipshit, let me tell ya.
I almost got hit by a old lady in a Volvo this morning trying to get my dad breakfast. 0_0 |
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